Commentary

Monday's Pairing Of Ryan And Kelly Was The Day That Television Died

He's a ding-dong and she’s a dipsy-doodle. Together, they're “Live With Dipsy-Doodle and Ding-Dong”!

Heard the news? ABC or Disney or Kelly Ripa or whoever is running the show over at “Live With Kelly” has taken the very unbold step of hiring Ryan Seacrest as Kelly’s co-host. Who cares? Almost no one.

I can’t even believe we’re still doing these kinds of TV shows. Few genres on television are as consistently insipid and stupid as these air-headed celebrity “talk” shows.

It’s a form of TV that has been with us for decades, maybe even from the very beginning. Their durability has proven them to be the cockroaches of TV – a species that seemingly cannot be killed even as the world around them collapses.

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Incredibly, there are still people who will watch this kind of phony, insincere celebrity happy talk whose sole purpose is to promote upcoming movies, TV shows or other projects.

Fine, knock yourselves out -- go ahead and waste an hour of your day every morning watching Ryan Seacrest and Kelly Ripa babble on about their lives, followed by a series of bubble-brained encounters with various famous people.

Look! Here comes What’s-his-name or What’s-her-name fresh off an appearance less than an hour before on “Good Morning America” or some other show! Let’s hear the banter they rehearsed for the entire weekend at home before embarking on this New York TV publicity tour.

They’ll repeat themselves more or less verbatim on show after show for three or four days and, after that, more likely as not their new movie will bomb. So much for the awesome power of dim-witted celebrity promotion tours.

It just seems to me that the time is past for this kind of TV. Aren’t we more sophisticated now? Don’t we expect more from our TV shows and personalities in this day and age?

Blame it on the ongoing fragmentation of TV audiences. On the one hand, you have personalities such as Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert who found audiences who appreciated them for exhibiting at least a certain degree of intelligence.

On the other hand, apparently there are still enough people out there who don’t necessarily value intelligence or skepticism, but instead are fine going along with TV personalities who do little more than gush over their celebrity guests.

“Live with Kelly and Ryan”? Where’s the diversity in that? I can’t believe there’s been no hue and cry over this. 

Maybe Ryan was paired with Kelly because of the pending arrival of another Kelly in the 9-10 a.m. time period next fall -- Megyn Kelly on NBC. NBC News reportedly confirmed this week that Megyn will set up shop next fall in the time period, although no other details – such as a title or the nature of the show – was confirmed.

Despite the lack of these niggling little things known as “facts,” we now know that this mid-morning hour is shaping up to be a real Kelly-fest, with a Ryan thrown in for good measure.

Oh, shoot, wouldn’t you know it? I just checked a 2018 calendar and found out that next year’s St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Saturday. Begorrah! Oh, well, I will mark my calendar for Friday, March 16, 2018, to see what happens.

Let the record show that I fully appreciate that Kelly Ripa’s and Ryan Seacrest’s success in the TV biz has a lot to do with intelligence that they undoubtedly possess. And yes, there is a “skill” involved in the activity of play-acting and pretending you’re nice on national TV everyday. Nevertheless, the staying power of this kind of television dumbfounds me anyway.

As for Seacrest, he really has done the impossible. On New Year’s Eve, he has become the new Dick Clark. And now, on weekday morning, he aims to become the new Regis. There’s only one thing left for him now: Seacrest for President.

6 comments about "Monday's Pairing Of Ryan And Kelly Was The Day That Television Died".
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  1. Douglas Ferguson from College of Charleston, May 2, 2017 at 2:42 p.m.

    I think the show is aiming for a different demo than us. BTW, he'd make a charming 46th President.

  2. charles bachrach from BCCLTD, May 2, 2017 at 5:19 p.m.

    They're BOTH useless..what did you expect?  Television programming is heading downward..
    wher are the "Downton Abby's?" and the like?  Oh, they don't get hight enough ratings, so
    the genuis programers and ownerships of the networks just put crap on that appeals to
    the TRUMP audience, especial in the South!

  3. Thomas Hagey from Now Media, May 2, 2017 at 5:31 p.m.

    Humans really aren't as important as we like to think...I've really taken a shining to Dolphins...and you probably aren't going to have or value the opportunity to "Swim with Kelly And Ryan." (That could get offside rather quickly.)

    And frankly, I'm loving the swearing on shows like John Oliver and Bill Maher...it's humans behaving like, well, humans...and with your 45th  Presidential choice it seems like humour and swearing is America's only way back to greatness.

    But for those of us who are not only going to squeeze the Charmin but shake the living Sh*t out of it given the opportunity...this brand of TV is a bit dated, tame and uninspiring for sure. But we Canadians having been laughing at our American neighbours for years at the programming they gleefully consume and digest in great quantities at their personal peril. Plop Plop Fizz Fizz...if it was only that easy.

    Perhaps you could just elect not to watch:)

    Cheers!

  4. Paula Lynn from Who Else Unlimited, May 2, 2017 at 8:51 p.m.

    So correct Mr. Ferguson - such an absolutely different demo than anyone who would even know about Media Post. Ryan Seacrest would be an improvement on what we have now.

  5. Will Stewart from SportsWar LLC replied, May 3, 2017 at 10:42 a.m.

    As Douglas Ferguson points out, there is indeed a demo that desires this sort of television. It's a demo that wants things to be easy and happy, and doesn't want to think about or be bothered by unpleasant things or serious issues, at least not very often. It's vapid and shallow, but like candy, sweet to consume and easily forgotten afterwards.  It's the same demo, or at least hugely overlaps the demo, that watches the movies on the Hallmark Channel. They like to consume television that is pretty, nice, pleasant, and predictable.

    This isn't meant as a criticism.  It's just another demographic slice of America. Some demos like to watch UFC fighting, some like to watch old movies on TCM or AMC, and some like to watch Kelly and Ryan.

  6. Ed Papazian from Media Dynamics Inc, May 3, 2017 at 10:54 a.m.

    I would think that "demo" may be the wrong word---perhaps "mindset", which cuts across sex and age is more like it.

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