MediaPost | Video Critique

Oral-B Video Fails To Make Connection Between Toothbrushes And Father Love

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 16:32:00 -0400

Only 19 months into my tenure as a dad, it has become clear that I deserve more than a single day in my honor. Not to honk my own honker, but my son can often be found wearing clothes and shoes. He has only been exposed to "Blazing Saddles" on four separate occasions. Whenever he eats crayons, I provide nutritional counterbalance in the form of Apple Jacks. See? Fruit. I am the Genghis Khan of parental equanimity.

Capital One "While Banking" Clips Must Stop. Now.

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 17:18:02 -0400

This column is a plea. This column is a prayer. This column is an appeal to our collective senses of decency and mercy, an entreaty to a select group of individuals to act in the best interest of our shared humanity, even though to do so would frustrate its own commercial aims. This column is a plea to Capital One to cut its annual media budget by like $400 million.

Run, Don't Walk, To Watch Dick's Sporting Goods' "Run For" Videos

Thu, 30 May 2013 16:14:48 -0400

For the first time in 200-odd of these columns, I have some inkling of a clue as to what I'm talking about. Which is why I'm beyond confident in recommending that anyone with even a vague interest in running - hell, anyone with even a vague interest in the durability of the human spirit - check out "Run For," an alternately inspiring and heartbreaking series of vignettes designed to brand Dick's Sporting Goods as the ultimate runner's outpost.

Samsung Aims Low With "Evolutionary Husband"

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:55:03 -0400

Following a weekend spent at a family wedding, at a New England inn so quaint that even the squirrels wore Izod, I couldn't wait to get home and reunite with my television. After nearly seven hours on the road, I bounded through the door, my heart fluttering either with joy or breakfast-meat-induced aortic convulsions, and leaped into the waiting folds of my couch. It received me as it would an old friend, or a sweaty throw pillow.

Wake Me Up After I Watch IBM's "A Boy and His Atom"

Thu, 16 May 2013 15:49:16 -0400

I was never much of a science student. While several of my schoolchums seemed to have a genuine curiosity about the world around them, my tastes ran more towards shenanigans and tomfoolery. That's not to say I didn't appreciate the many off-label applications of a pipette - specifically, as a vessel through which one might divert water onto the northern region of friends' dungarees - but, alas, I lacked the brains and patience to sift through Baldwin-dense textbooks. It was like, gravity? Stuff falls. Why worry about the precise mechanics?

"The Challenge" Proves That Two Spocks Are Better Than One

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:35:13 -0400

It is a glorious time to be a nerd. Offline gatherings indulge our must-hear-about-it-first compulsions. Online communities permit - nay, encourage - us to disseminate our theories about island wormholes and fascism in outer space. Hell, the marketing of pop culture is as much about leveraging the collective might of our nerd enthusiasms as it is about playing to the masses. Along those lines, I have it on good authority that Jennifer Lawrence will be donning the season's hoTTTest earwax-drip receptacles in the September issue of Vogue.

Be On Scores With Its First Brand Clip, "The Derby"

Thu, 02 May 2013 13:59:32 -0400

Brand-video proponents sure like to toot their own cyber-horns, don't they? It's one thing to make a client look good, but it's far more rewarding to flaunt their brandiness and viralitude chops. Why, it's almost as if they have a product worth touting, or an approach in which they have such confidence that they want to alert other sentient entities to its existence.

Evian's "Baby and Me" Is All Whimsy, No Business

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 16:51:08 -0400

Once again, I would like to go on the record as firmly, proudly, incontrovertibly pro-cuteness. I prefer things that are cute, like nesting dolls and marshmallows, to things that are not cute, like drains and infected cuticles. If you gave me the choice between Quvenzhan Wallis and Ed Asner, I'd totally pick little Quvenzhan and her bedimpled cheeks and the curls that dangle off her temples like... holy mother of Mellencamp, is that a baby otter?!? I absolutely LOVE baby otters! Ho ho - the little guy thinks he's people! See? My pro-cuteness credentials are impeccable.

Subway-Branded Video, "Bite Night," Piled High With Too Many Brand Mentions

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 16:53:32 -0400

Pity the poor cinematic auteur. Years ago, his Malick-ian vision was frustrated by plutocrat sine qua nons like cameras, film and talent. Nowadays, that high bar to entry has been lowered, courtesy of digital distribution and dime-at-a-time Kickstarter backing. Alas, the D.I.Y. rising tide has lifted all rafts, including ones in which slackers reenact the climactic Unforgiven confrontation with sock puppets.

Long-Form Branded Videos: Who Has Time To Watch Them?

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 15:06:04 -0400

The year was 2008. Bankers were awarding mortgages to any individual whose footwear didn't announce "my current domicile is a mud hut." Lifetime's "How to Look Good Naked" taught an insecure, body-dysmorphic nation how to look good, naked. On the Internet, we reveled in the glory of branded Flash-y sites with embedded video doohickeys. Oh, the techno-pageantry! Clicking on one thing took you to another thing - which, in turn, revealed either another thing or another another thing. In the end, there were many things.

Beyonce Video Teaser Proves That Viral Video Bar Has Been Lowered Too Much

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 16:05:00 -0400

Like everyone else, when I was made aware of yesterday's video teaser promising a huger-than-Mothra-and-Antarctica-combined online announcement from Beyonc at 9 a.m. ET this morning, I cleared my calendar. Deadlines were postponed. Appointments were abandoned. The kid was passed off to the neighbors, or at least a couple wandering around our cul-de-sac who probably live somewhere in the general vicinity. After Beyonc's disappearance from the public eye - it seemed as if a full four days had passed since she'd last been sighted - I was ready. It was time.

Degree's The Adrenalist

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 17:15:02 -0400

My toddler son said something profound the other day. As we played amid a host of plastic screamthings and clangable salad implements appropriated from the kitchen, a ruminative, far-away look appeared his eyes. Summoning the accumulated wisdom of the ages, he placed a steady hand on my shoulder and said the following: "TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK WIWA [window, through which one might view a truck] TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK WIWA WIWA TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK TRUCK WIWA!" He punctuated this monologue by pointing towards the wiwa/window and pooping himself orange.

Subtlety In "Mistakes Kids Make" Video Weakens The Message

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 16:11:59 -0400

I empathize with any dumb kid who does a dumb-kid thing - up to a point, which is located far, far, far short of what happened in Steubenville. And that's why I have a hard time reconciling my thoughts on personal accountability with the apologist thrust of Mistakes Kids Make's first-ever video fusillade, independent of the peculiar and unfortunate timing of its arrival.

Kilbeggan Campaign Undermines The Brand's Authenticity

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 15:11:16 -0400

What I love most about St. Patrick's Day is the authenticity. Even as the gutters run gold with the discharge of a thousand tumescent bladders, nary a celebrant loses sight of the history behind the hooliganism.

Toshiba's Field-Testing Experiment Doesn't Go Far Enough

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 15:00:23 -0500

My toddler son has entered the annihilatory stage of his relationship with objects. His three favorite pastimes, in no particular order, are emptying a basket filled with baseballs and launching them down the stairs, one by one; using the mini-mallet that came with a recent toy purchase to survey the textural hardiness of our windows and TV screens; and fashioning a crude drum kit out of pots and pans, then attempting to best the 24-minute duration of "Moby Dick."

Wisk Is Funny -- And It Cleans Your Clothes, Too

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 14:36:03 -0500

I like my dental floss to break into song at random intervals, my ketchup to dazzle me with its knowledge of paleontology and my napkins to be fluent in no fewer than three romance languages. Thus it stands to reason that I expect big things - spiritual things, wondrous things, common-humanity-affirming things - from my laundry detergent. Unfortunately, while my current brand has value as street currency, it does little to delight and galvanize me. All it does is de-funkify post-workout clothes that, were I blessed with a limitless supply of stretchy activewear, would either be burned or sent to the CDC for potential use in chemical warfare. Where's the fun in that?

Red Bull's 16-Minute "A Skateboard Film" Has Wings

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 14:10:35 -0500

I've reached a point where my day-to-day existence has morphed into something out of a hammock catalog. Where I used to be all about fried food and sports-doing, I now spend my leisure hours in a state of constant vigilance against encroaching ear hair. Too, in order to function, I need naps as long as the afternoon is... well, long. Related: Is there anything more fulfilling than an afternoon nap? Friend, there is not. I wish I could take an afternoon nap right now. Too bad it's 9:20 a.m. I'll apply for a waiver.

Who Wins In Online Video Sexiness: Jennifer Love Hewitt or David Beckham?

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 15:57:03 -0500

If you ask me, there's nowhere near enough sex or wink-wink implied sex in brand videos nowadays. Don't agree? Check out the most recent batch of clips promoting diapers, inspection cameras or medical alert systems for seniors. Not a one features the daintily oiled torso of a modern-day he-Zeus, or a nubile, wild-eyed tart coming within a strand of double-stick tape of laying waste to our treasured obscenity statutes.

Evil Clowns Have No Place In Tea Advertising

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:55:02 -0500

Here's a column I never thought I'd have to write: One in which I present the pros and cons of including malevolent clowns and aquatic hellscapes in brand videos for tea.

Super Bowl Ad Bets

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 16:29:59 -0500

I've got Super Bowl ad fever! It's basically acute diphtheria, minus the engorged lymph nodes but with a pronounced fungal component. The gals behind the desk at Dr. Sliffeninnin's office have tactfully broached the topic of organ donation.

A Six-Pack of Video Options for Coca-Cola's "Coming Together."

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 12:57:24 -0500

Okay: that Coca-Cola video. I was out last week attending to matters of important personal business and, as a result, missed most of the tsk-tsking and are-they-serious? giggles in its wake. To recap: the beverage giant, fearing that it's about to absorb a few love taps from the regulatory mallet, released "Coming Together," a clip proclaiming that it is an ally in the fight against obesity, diabetes, heart disease, osteoporosis, pancreatitis, kidney failure, cavities, sugar tongue and every other health scourge to which overconsumption of its 650 beverages may or may not contribute. Check that - Coca-Cola isn't just an ally; it's the ally, the United States to the FDA's France.

Windows Phone, What Can You Do For Me?

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 15:24:53 -0500

At some point in the future, it's possible that I will recast my phone as an organizational nerve center. In theory, I could use it to track my spending, deadlines and numerous important appointments. It could direct me to Wi-Fi-enabled haven and Yelp-approved public restroom alike. Heck, it could prompt me to modernize my current keep-track-of-self scheme, which consists mostly of Post-It notes and mnemonic catchphrases.

Toyota's "Let's Go Places" Takes Me To The Wrong Place

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 16:20:03 -0500

I am buying a car and I am excited. After years confined to the underpaved thoroughfares of urbania, I have a place to put a car - two places, actually. Neither demands a monthly outlay of $400 to Parking Inc. or ninja-like alacrity in pouncing on just-vacated slices of curbside real estate. Thus I am managing my garage with great and furious zeal. My oily rags do not impede the safe storage of acoustic or electric leaf-dispersal implements.

Pop Goes The Cheesecake Factory's Current Branding Campaign

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 15:15:03 -0500

It took nearly half a year, but I finally made a new friend out here in the suburbs. His name is Jack and he's a wellspring of positive energy, quick with a high-five and enthusiastic if unintelligible salutations. Unlike my college pals and professional peers, he lights up in my presence. He's a terrific guy.

Dobrow's Favorite Videos of 2012

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 10:50:49 -0500

I did the worst-of-the-year thing a few weeks ago. In the interest of balance, then, here's a list of my favorite 2012 clips. They're presented in no particular order and with a gimmicky awards component designed to distract your attention from the repurposing of gently worn content. Best wishes for a happy and healthy 2013, y'all.

Ode To Advertising Land

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 15:49:21 -0500

'Twas 52 nights before Chrismachanukwaanza, when at this one shop Creatures were stirring, ideas flung nonstop.

KFC Keeps The Peace With An 8-Piece Holiday Meal

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 15:53:17 -0500

KFC. It has nutritional value in the way that ChiPs has educational value: In the most beside-the-point manner possible. Not that it needs to be spelled out, but KFC entrees have some small modicum of protein, just as ChiPs features characters saying words that can be found in many non-discredited dictionaries. Nonetheless, as chains are wont to do, KFC continues to attempt to lure new mouths, fast-food-simpatico and otherwise. Its most recent volley to that end is a trio of pointedly quirky holiday-themed videos hyping its super-tasty, violently caloric Festive Feast.

Louis Vuitton's "L'Invitation au Voyage" Is Full Of Hot Air

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 14:29:58 -0500

I got lucky when "L'Invitation au Voyage," the latest brand-burnishing endeavor from the well-accessorized kids at Louis Vuitton, arrived on my cyber-doorstep amid all this. Given that I'm still hopped up on the finest that Walgreen's has to offer, it's the only type of clip I'm capable of deconstructing at this moment: self-impressed, self-unaware, transparently symbolic and stuffed colon-deep with I-is-a-art-school-gradjoooit frippery. In that sense, "L'Invitation au Voyage" is the greatest gift I'll receive this Chrismuchanukwanzaa season.

"Ink & Paper" Is A Portrait Of Small Business Pride And Defiance

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 14:42:29 -0500

Siding with small businesses is like siding with cupcakes, low humidity or Motown singles: you're siding with unassailable goodness, friend. If you support small businesses, you support the American ethos, or at least the historically overcelebrated, clich version of it. Nobody has a problem with small businesses, not even the I-see-threats-to-shark-tank-capitalism-everywhere-including-but-not-limited-to-in-my-utility-shed-and-on-Etsy crowd.

"Emily's Story" Will Bring Tears To Your Eyes

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 15:28:29 -0500

Fatherhood has enriched my life in so many ways that I can't begin to enumerate them, but it has hamstrung me as a writer/observer/whatever it is that I do. Any work conversation that includes the phrase "hey, how's the kid doing?" inevitably ends on a sunny note, even if it began with accusations of anti-Semitism and influence-peddling. I can't view marketing content as I once did, either. Take that infamous Infiniti ad from earlier this year: Where I once might've been intrigued by its focus on a single feature, it now prompts me to jump off the couch and scream, "Are you MAD? What kind of monster lets his child play outside without a leash and a bodysuit lined with protective foam padding? I'M TELLING MICHELLE OBAMA ON YOU!"